oh, hello winter. it's been a while...

i guess i'm writing a blog now? hmm.

seems like the right thing to do when i'm surrounded in snow and hours of time to quietly kill lay at my feet. december has begun to finally show itself to me, once more. as a kid i always loved this time of year, the magic it brings, the cold that works its way inside my bones that never seems to bother me. watching snow fall while the sun shines down on my legs, coffee house wanderings, and each time i tuck myself inside a sweater or pull my jacket closer, a sense of loving myself returns, taking care, being warm. in the summer, we peel off the layers that hold us back from weather's delights, from people, from electric nights buzzing with lights and sound. and in the winter, there is only cold and velvet dark.

i romanicize this time of year, like every other, but there is something in it which captures a free spirit in me. i like that.

on another note, i have done everything and nothing over winter break. it seems that every time i want to make plans, they fail to happen; yet when i stumble upon a random meeting, i stay out late. yesterday, i hung out with sarah lee for the first time and had a ridiculous day, unintentionally. and it was excellent. today, i woke up with purpose to do something. so, i got dressed up and put on my fancy boots and ... got coffee, alone. but its okay. sometimes its nice to dress up for myself and strangers who seem to appreciate fancy boots more than the people i plan to meet.

i have a dentist appointment tomorrow and i am more than certain that she will be disappointed in my teeth. still smoking. still disappointing. but for a girl of english descent, i'm doing okay. and i always love going there because dr. jacobs has a wooden "pirate chest", which is really made of cardboard, and inside there are plastic dinosaurs, rubber bouncy balls and silly little objects. i always get one and it makes me happy - not like i actually have any use for a plastic dinosaur. hmm. a new years resolution? more fun with dinosaurs.

leaving for louisville on tuesday. really really really excited about that. it has been waaaayy to long since i took a road trip. i'm going to make mixed cds and trail mix and rent books on tape and hope to god beatrix (my 1990 honda accord with 228,000 miles on it) doesn't r.i.p. before i get home. here's hoping...

but yes. new years in louisville with good friends and new strangers and delicious bourbon. won't that be exciting?

so, random things.
i'm growing out my hair and it's damn long. weird.
currently single and have been for a while. weird.
thinking about moving to santa fe, new mexico. cool? and weird.

and i'm quitting smoking, finally.
i've decided to take up yoga and meth instead.

(i have an awful sense of humor)
was actually thinking about that, today while i was reading the sunday newspaper like the 89 year old woman i am. i thought, maybe i'm just not funny ... no, that can't be it. maybe i just haven't found someone who actually thinks i'm funny and gets my humor. but then i realized, that this person would be the only one other than myself who thinks i'm funny. but no one really thought andy kauffman was funny and i think he's hilarious! a pattern is emerging...

food for thought: why is it that i like day dreaming about the summer in winter and day dreaming about winter in summer better than i like a summer's day in the summer after a long cold winter? does that make sense at all?
maybe its the pursuit of a different climate that delights me.

either way, perhaps its just more fun. and maybe that's what keeps me warm.
my own little tahitian island inside my body wrapped in sweaters and scarves.
i like that.